WHAT SHOULD HAD BEEN:AUGUST NO MORE THE SERIES: A PREPARATION OF A YEAR OF KICKING ASS

This is the last post before September Three, TwoThousandSix, the day my blog was first published. About the megapacked AUGUST NO MORE: I previously decided to publish seven parts separately, then decided to publish the first three parts first, then the fourth, fifth, and sixth part next, then the megapacked part seven that could reveal the inner Ian Lopez that you never heard of. After deciding on what to do afterwards, I decided to put AUGUST NO MORE INTO A WHOLE PART DIVIDED IN SEVEN PARTS. THE TITLES OF THE SEGMENTS ARE AS FOLLOWS: FIRST PART, IT'S A START; HYPE UP AND FIGHT; WHINING CLIMAX; IT COULD SPILL TO OCTOBER; THE FATHER'S SIN IS NOT HIS SON'S; ONE MORE TO FINISH; and last but NEVER the least, THE NEXT EPISODE. Over Four Thousand Two Hundred words of AUGUST NO MORE. Just 3 weeks of typine, editing, researching and re-editing has paid off. You deserve this! I could post anytime after this. (FIRST PART, IT'S A START)
To hit up the interest, I'll just add up to my personal yet slightly provocative rape case comments. I was going to type somethng irrelevant when I decided to provoke that Zamboangueña whore, her family, her supporters, and her puppet supporters. She was assigned to get drunk, then get laid with an American who is serving in the U. S. Marines (Daniel Smith), let herself have a wild night, then get provoked intentionally, then let the events naturally flow (One of the marines said "Let us rest her on the sidewalk. She was drunked and screwed all of a sudden. Hope she doesn't give us too much trouble." then had her ass lied down the pavement.) When she woke up, she told her biggest lie in her lie. She allowed herself to insert some guy's elephant trunk on her wet canyon despite the fact that she did not consent to have sex with Smith. Go ahead. You can kick my ass through words but you can't screw the soul of a blogger. I forgot something. "Nicole" DID NOT FREAKING lit a single damn candle on a church in Subic to remember her dead father. Her father's spirit abandoned her when she lost her innocence through her shameful act on All Saint's Day, 2005. Good luck with your remaining moments on earth. She was traumatized during the trial. She will die of trauma because of that.

Politics, Philippine style. Chuck out those worthless impeachment complaints. Let Charter Change pass for the good of our sufering nation. No Cha Cha, No Progress, No way we can indefinitely destroy the commies, abu sayaffs, jemaah islamiyah fanatics & other threats to the Filipinos (except the weather and God), We can assure ourselves a good future.

Once more, I WAS at the Pussycat Dolls concert last night at the Araneta Coliseum on July 28. I wasn't lying. I just hid the evidences somewhere. In Marilao, Bulacan in the middle of the North Luzon Expressway last July 30 at 2 in the morning. It was later planted near a vintage bomb with a more modern, wireless, undetectable & complex timebomb. Anyone who comes near it gets his/her body turned into cheap chunks of meat.

The new song "A Public Affair" by Jessica Simpson is way better than that white trash, copycat, has-been, egoistic, sluttysister Ashlee. Smashlee is her nickname because her bandmates & fans call her that. So do I coz' I wanted to smash her head with a microphone. Better a hammer to feel the anger of over half a million people. Speaking of Jessica Simpson, ther has been a virtual warfare between her & Paris Hilton. (It's all about the music & the money made by their music.) Extra Notes: Ashlee Simpson's new (s)hit "Invisible" copies some styles of John Cena. First listen to Invisible, then listen to Our Time is Now. It's similar all right. Not only she lipsynchs, she steals some styles of music from others.

According to my drunken spooks, the progress of my blogs has been slow enough. Regardless, I'm typing future posts at the moment. By September, my original blog will celebrate its first year posted (September 3 to be exact). My friend "Diego" has a girlfriend right now. She (Diego's girlfriend) will celebrate her birthday on September as well. From demanding a cable provider to return Jack TV on its lineup ASAP, to call a certain DJ a coffee monster (later rescinded), to unimaginable garbage (including the Subic rape case), The Ian Blog has come a long way without any opposition. As I celebrate my underappreciated success on the Internet. I got friendster, then myspace, then blogger. Next target is blogspot. If someone can't kill 2 birds with one stone, maybe I haven't tried killing four birds with a stone. I can consider killing 4 eagles with a rocket launcher.

I now renew the call to boycott High School Musical. As I say it again, F-U-C-K Vince Chong, Alicia Pan & Nikki Gil 951,236,478,694,472,968 damn times over. When their brown-and-yellow trash asian remake of the song breaking free makes it to some of the trusted countdown shows (TV & Radio, since the Internet has sites for that which has underlooked Asia), all hell is loose and I am now personally opening the dam of my personal hell. Let my past forgive me to screw the next wave of opposition. Give them Hell, and the world's load will end up on their shoulder or my own. Praise the Lord 131,320,553,406,441 times over.
(HYPE UP AND FIGHT)
My life is still a mess. I'll clean up my blogs & summarize the previous writings. I still watch South Park once in a damn while. A few Saturdays ago, I watched Drawn Together. The episode is all about Captain Hero & her girlfriend coming to visit him in the Drawn Together house. When Captain Hero gave a massage to her girlfriend, slowly but surely, it turned to a bigtime beepfest. They had done that when they were probably in high school or college. At the middle of the lights off, they are now making babies' scene, she told that they (Hero & his gf) would get married when she turns 30. As we fast forward to the end, Princess Clara & Toot Braunstein assembled a weapon that shoots potatoes. Apparently, they shot it to Captain Hero's gf, and then her body literally went of to the other side of the world. Stretching back to the Drawn Together house, her lifeless hands were held by Captain Hero & Wooldoor Sockbat. They were right beside her when she died as the potato hits her face directly. Thet never let her die alone. That's what good friends do. Bring there to suport you in the hardest times.

Presently, I aspire myself to be a DJ on Magic 89.9. But I could end up in a call center. I quote this from Igan D'Bayan's column in the Philippine Star (Cut-up the crap, February 24, 2006):
Philosophers like Marx and Engels (even if you read them via Barron's or Cliff Notes) make perfect sense. Your job has alienated yourself from your true self (unlike tadpoles who grow up to be politicians). You like Nabokov and Dostoevsky, yet you end up as a ghostwriter for a society columnist. You like Miles Davis and John Coltrane, yet ended up in a record label peddling Cueshé. You like Kubrick and Scorsese, yet ending up making ads for the MMDA and the Department of Health ("Iodized salt, iodized salt, mag-iodized salt tayo…")
I will be aware of that. Also (damnit), some teen stars now will end up as has-beens before 75 more activists, politicians, mediamen & innocent people will end up cadavers by christmas day 2006. That column is a mirror of our current lifestyle. We sholuld do something about it, right?

Screw You, Chiz Escudero. Ditto to Imee Marcos (hope your father has a good time in hell, bitch!), Teofisto Guingona (face it old man, STFU, F off politics & start constructing your own grave. Your time will be up soon.), Jamby Madrigal (the people are sick and damn tired of your damned antics. Just resign your post & squander our resources at your own disposal. The commie junket to Utrecht is spent by taxpayer money. I wish some sons of bitches would infect you with rabies for being a red herring. Same to the others who use the word Bora – not Bora Bora, the island in the Frenched up Polynesia -, die bitch, die.), and other guys in the oposition (Since early 2006, the Binay fiefdom of Makati is slowly losing some of its rich folks. That f*uckhole is going down). The Philippine Daily Inquirer no longer serves its purpose and deserves to be closed down.

My fort isn't waving white flags anymore. This time, its red flags with the words "FIGHT WITH ALL YOU GOT, MFERS" in black. INXS in Manila by August the 15th will be one rowdy shindig. The song Unfaithful by Rihanna is very-damn-symbolic-slash-actually-happening-to-some-people-all-over-the-world. The words "I don't want to be a murderer" is a statement that he doesn't want her boyfriend to perish because she left him. The end of the world will happen after worms eat my body and cockroaches lay their eggs on my stomach. And a seed growing to a tree thanks to my decomposed penis which was crucial to the tree's growth. Come near & I'll haunt your ass.

Summerslam 2006 in Boston, within 50 miles of John Cena's hometown (West Newbury, 01985 MA) could be the epicenter of the celebrations of John Cena's victory party. He will win this one, even if that ho Lita tries to use some cheap tricks to let her boyfriend, the Rated R Superstar Edge win another defense of the WWE Championship. If he wins, it will be his second. He needs 14 more title reigns to beat the number of WWE Championships won by the Nature Boy, Ric Flair. God Bless John Cena and I also wish his new movie "The Marine" a smashing success in the box office someime in October. The trailer is kickass. Not for the Oscars but great though.

(WHINING CLIMAX)
This is the climax of the series. I wish one of my second-degree friends Sitti (for what?) good luck in the music industry. My first-degree friend (I have 90 first-degree friends since August 6, 2006) Kelly advised her not to go into mainstream last May 17, 2006 (I'm not sure with the dates). They were silly at that time (crap, smoker's cough. I'll just cock my gun and shoot my pet birds. They cause lung cancer. Thanks, Dana Reeve for dying because you are too close with birds – the feathery type, not the hairy type-).

I also want Gringo Honasan to surrender, then be imprisoned for 5 or 10 years for rebellion charges. Hopefully, those charges will be dropped, paving the way for his new lease on life. He could see his grandchildren as well.

Philipine Idol will not be as famous as American Idol (F*uck Yeah!) but it will have as much marks in the industry. Ryan Cayabyab (The Country's leading starmaker since the 70's), Pilita Corrales (No introduction needed, her bones nearly got brokeback weeks ago but she's now A-OK) & Francis Magalona (Thanks for the song Cold Summer Nights and the group Death Threat, homie. You really contribute to the upbringing of the Philippine music scene) will be its judges. My other first-degree friend (00101) auditioned but he was too good for Philippine Idol. He also has a great singing voice but enough of this. Philippine Idol will send ABC 5 to the cockfighting arena that is proudly called Philippine Television in which ABC 5 will topple QTV11 for the third placer slot. Visit the official site at www.philippineidol.com and I wish the new Philippine Idol good luck in the music industry. That guy should need it.

I will turn 15 on November 15. Still, it sucks to be me. Imagine a tall, fat person with big, fat eyeglasses. I should be thankful since I was born into this world a male since I don't have flat breasts and big teeth as one of my third degree friends do. Fernando's sins aren't going to be Ian's. I have left 834000 minutes behind. Now, I have to face the next 3,858,400 minutes or so as mandated.

Pinoy Dream Academy of ABS-CBN shouldn't start at the aftermath of my troubles. Taking and deleting something from StarStruck: It's free to dream, you shouldn't believe the criticism of others. What is important for you is to SURVIVE. To cross C5 without the aid of a pedestrian bridge is suicidal. You should survive now, and surive often. If Britney Spears & Kevin Federline mysteriously dies, God could send me their son Sean Preston & their other child if it hapens. Thank you Lord for having my mother fly to Manila to Negros to be part of her grandmother's burial. Thank you Lord for giving me a second chance since that mordacious accident in 1997. Thank you Lord for letting our family survive each and every day. Thank you Lord for everything. Thank you, Lord.

The climax has reached and it will end sooner or later. Boracay is still Boracay, not Bora. I was here for a purpose. To help others and charity. I am daydreaming of lesbians again. Real men DON'T do drugs, they DRINK BOOZE! I have two more August No More posts that will end on Part 5. Having Parts 6 & 7 could depend on the situation. On the first Sunday of September of the Year 2006, The Ian Blog has reached a year of surviving. It couldn't happen without you guys. My family roots are planted in the Philippines. Hopefully, My blog is now seen everywhere. Sticks and stones and calling names and public demonstrations can't hurt me. I have to end this now but I assure you, I won't abandon the ones who were my friends before.
One more audacious run-on: there is still terror everywhere. Natural disasters are everywhere. Prepeare for the worst and bad things will happen unexpectedly, even if you are very, very happy celebrating a party of some sort. Your first clubbin' experience could be your last. First to ignore is the first to be hit by the one that is ignored. Avoid commiting suicides because, you leased your life from God. He gives your life and can take it away.
(IT COULD SPILL TO OCTOBER)
This part will be published on the fourth week of August. Of ourse, I intentionally planned to publish the first three parts separately like a halting fusillade attacking a target at diferent times (like killing 3 birds with a stone each). This post (with parts 5 & 6) will be published on the forth week. At the end of month, Part 7 (The Epilogue that surprises your ass out) will be published. August No More will be replaced with The Ian Blog: A Year of Siroccos for the month of Spetember.

Ha, Ha, Ha! Now we are really enjoying this! And I fictionally spent PHP 30,000 and by September, my other first-degree friend Anna will get married! More wet dreams for Diego since his dreams about his girlfriend are preempting his dreams of being most valuable playa! High School Musical has become OVERRATED in my neighborhood and in almost strret corner of America and Asia! And I'm high. I'm high on asthma to be exact. Since late July, I have asthma but it did not deter my ability to blog. Low content screws, last 3 words applied to my old posts. I'm the voice of my own self, an outcast already accepted by the rest o the world who ants to destroy the past and a future radio personality who will get lots of flak (detraction) for what I do. In fact, there are others who flak me for who I am. A freelance blogger who speaks out against injustice, communism, overrated bulshit, and primarily things that piss me off. For those who haven't seen this wonderful site yet aware of the changes and new stuff around you, HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL SUCKS DICK, ASS & TITS!

George W. Bush said stop this shit and its over in Petersburg on the Baltic (To distinguish it from St. Pete, Florida). And the war in Lebanon ended temporarily at around Monday, 1 PM (GMT+8) on August 14, 2006. If you love High School Musical, or use Bora as a term for the island of Boracay, or wear a pink polo with the collar up, you deserve to be killed by either a Katyusha rocket or an Uzi submachine gun.

And if you think it sucks to be you, I was one of the guys who hate high school musical in my school. We're the minority there. THE MINORITY WILL TRANSCEND HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL. IT'S JUST A FAD.

Has someone moved along? Apparently, the DisUnited Opposition will do anything to boot out the most attacked Philippine president since Imee Marcos' father declared the undoing of Philippine progress 34 years ago. They want more exposure in the media. If I see those political has-beens on the newspaper I'm reading, it will make me go vomit on my breakfast, spit on my coffe, and so on. I only read The Philippine Star since the Manila Bulletin is slightly incomprehensible. I NEVER read the Pathetic Dummy Inquisitor (Phil. Dail. Inq.) –The most sarcastic & pessimist newspaper in asia- is way too biased, leftist, communist, pro-poverty, anti-progress, and useful only as an expensive firewood. Or to be spat, urinated, defecated and burned in public in disgust over its columnists and its readers who are ironically the ones who want to destroy this embattled nation. Aparently, the guys who agree with one voice just want to perpetualize the sufferings of our people. If Ninoy Aquino were to be alive at the age of 74, he would curse at his wife, his favorite daughter Kris, his only son and the Cojuancos for not giving away Hacienda Luisita to its farmers who work hard under its soil. He could have gone to another flight to Singapore to lead the anti-Marcosian resistance. He would wait for the Filipinos to do an EDSA for him to be the eleventh Philippine president since Emilio Aguinaldo declared Philippine independence in Kawit, Cavite. Since then if it happened, all new scenario, and an another way to guide us to economic progress. Ninoy was killed. It happened. We're in a big mess right now. Only Charter Change can clean up our mess at this point.

Any disagreement with me could be solved in a debate. About Ashlee Simpson, eh? She sucks less compared to High School Musical. Although I hate her, she is less of a hate object. Also, I'm proud that Nick Lachey' new girl is half-Filipina. In fact, everyone in the world has 5% Pinoy Blood. I'll do more business next time coz' the money, love, drugs & blood still flows everywhere in any given place & time. Weekends are holy days for us since we'll worship God and leave the woes we have on the weekdays. Holla to the Virgin Islanders coz' they're Virgins even if the're screwed!
(THE FATHER'S SIN IS NOT HIS SON'S)
At around 3:15 in the morning on August 17, Asia Agcaoili has complained on air that her brain was messed up. And I go like "Take that, bitch! That's for playing that shitty, white slaver song! I have suffered enough! That song pisses me off a trillion times more! FUCK Vince Chong, Alicia Pan & Nikki Gil 951,236,478,921,692,260,457,694,472,968,254,478 goddamned times over! FUCK THEM ALL, MUDDAFUCKA!" that's a lesson in life. If you're with the flow, you will be screw'd. Thank God I was't with the nitwit flock. Phew.

SummerSlam was great! The results aren't important. The barbecue in Boston has ended. The American summer of 2006 will end on September 4. The Monday after that, America will honor people who had fallen in New York City, Arlington in Virginia & the humble town of Shanksille in Pennsylvania. The Murders for Allah's Glory (and Destruction of all Jews & Westerners), Inc. will also commemorate the 19 fanatic idiots who shed blood of innocent lives in America. Osama Bin Laden will soon die of old age. Someone wil replace him. Don't ask me because I have no contacts with them. We don't want Jews to be wiped off the Earth since Jesus was a Jew and the Jewish people (with the Filipinos) will set up the red carpet for Jesus Christ's return. Islam is good but radical Islam is such a pest. I call on all Muslims everywhere to denounce spiritual terrorism done by the hardliners from Hezbollah, Hamas, Al Qadea, Jemaah Islamiyah and their afiliates, suporters, backers, financiers, and their sponsor nations like North Korea, Iran, Syria, Cuba, Venezuela, Brazil, Bolivia, and other places where are openly welcome.

I was a little carried away in the last paragraph but it's obviously true. Segway to the Ian Lopez Competency Quiz are 15 questions to answer. Your answers are to determine your competence.
1:8*7? 2:Who proved that the earth is round? 3:world's most overrated person in the world (she will inherit a global hotel chain in a few years time)? 4:person who served as Italian Prime Minister longer in recent times other than Benito Mussolini? 5:Name the 6 members of the PCD (first name & last name acceptable) as of July 2006. 6:If you were in the city center of Hiroshima on August 6, 1945 at 8:15 AM, what will be your condition after an hour? 7:Name the 3 Guianas (group of 3 countries, also a geographical area). 8:Full Acronym of AIDS? 9:Born In Kentucky, Was President in a Civil War, shot in a theather, died the next morning. Who is he? 10:The archipelago housing American bases south of the Maldives? 11:How many pence in a £ before 1971?). 12: First human king mentioned in the Bible? 13: Mo Twister's real name? 14: Where's Santa Claus' hometown (in Finland)? And 15: What's my birthdate? If you can answer my questions, it can determine if you're competent or just retarded (on my scale). The answers will be posted on august no more's last part: the next episode. Then I'm off to rip and post the next series tentatively called THE 4 BURRS AND MY FIFTEENTH EXISTENCE. I'm also making another story called "I'm Unfaithful (Based on Rihanna's chart-topping hit and some of the author's life experiences)" and it will start with this storyline:
An annual nightmare he experienced every night of the anniversary of his friends' death. He woke up every two in the morning to keep himself in one piece. He slept again at three thirty in the morning, still weary of that experience. "Why?" he said to himself, who never woke up his wife and his teenage daughter because his 15-year-old son named Fhack was studying in San Pablo City. Later that morning, his boss gave him an assignment. His units were shocked to see a guy with his mid 20's wielding a pocketknife to the neck of a slightly older woman. He was last seen driving towards his neighborhood. Will he kill the man who will in turn kill his other friend just like last time? Or will he convince the man to tell his problems and convince him to change it without violence? BECAUSE IT IS ALWAYS A HARD TIME TO DECIDE IN A TIME OF DISTRESS.

I don't care if it sucks ass. For as long as it doesn't suck dick, ass, and tits unlike high school musical, this will be a great venture to crash on. Two more and we are now in the first stage of a New Year for the Ian blog. Survived it all, without you, I couldn't survive those turbulent moments. I'm ready for 2007 and this is just the beginning. By the time High School Musical 2 comes out next year, The MINORITY will grow by 900000%. We'll beat those screw'd donkeys.
(ONE MORE TO FINISH)
One more to finish. Phew, I have one more stage to conquer. I'll backtrack to March 2002 (guess where am I at that time, sucka) when the now embattled President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo made a visit to my hometown. It was the only time to see one of the Philippines' most noted environmentalists, Heherson Alvarez of Isabela, a WPD police officer (name and rank forgotten by blogger, his fate is still unknown to Ian Lopez), and of course, La Gloria. Fasttrack to November 21, 2003 in which I was in OB Montessori (The first Montessori school in the Philippines, if I presume). The guy who is the shit who always hits my fan wasn't around. God is good to me on the twentyfirst! It is the least tense day on the whle muddafacking earth. High on the mountains last March 5, 2004 when that James Bond shagging homo wasn't around in Caliraya. The place was cean (except for ass shit in the playing fields). By August 2004, I went to a certain place in Rizal. Before that, we had a stopover in (then) newly-opened Caltex SLT Northbound. In the mad dash to the piss hall (comfort room), we nearly bumped a group of people. The Visit to the Avilon Zoo in Montalban was another way to appreciate animals that are otherwise in laboratories, sewers, canals, and of course, our own backyard. 2005 is more of a gray picture for me (f*uckdamnit) but the early O6 is more of a Crayola crayon of any color smudging on the paper (in which it brought a smear that is otherwise colored). May 27, 2006 was the day that no other day came close. I went to the SM MALL OF ASIA on that day. It was really kickass! By the time you read this on August 25, I will be in the Manila area but I WILL NEVER GO NEAR THE U. S. EMBASSY to protect myself from being Bulalong Lagueño (Coz' I'm fat as a pig but as strong as a carabao).

I will send a picture that was supposed to be shown around March 2006. It's about a baby child puling near my crew as our bus was heading to Lucena. The child vomited along the way while the bus is heading for Sariyaya (the places mentioned here are on). The person who won the PBB Teen Edition is a whore. She is so retarded even by the most basic scientific exams. Although she could be smart, she is an f-ing nitwit. Kim is a HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Looks like the hatred against Cueshé has increased since July 2006. How can you treat a band when you morons still keep your hate against them if they're near you? Read to what I shall type: If you don't like them, you can just badmouth them and if it is necessary, throw light objects like a bottle of water at them. If you like them and youwere snobbed by them, shout to those people "I hope your fucking asses get hustled!" if they are nice enough, say thank you, hand them 50 pesos and scram. Any complaint will be ONLY welcomed at teamian1115@yahoo.com. If I received any hate mail, I'll forward it to the same address listed above. And of course, my pictures will NEVER be posted due to security, safety, personal, confidential, and parental reasons.

If the rain doesn't get you, then the disease will.
(THE NEXT EPISODE)
This is the last one. I'm as proud as usual. This is a celebration of sorts. Next month is a fiesta month. Having random thoughts is a breeze ever since I did this. Another post was done. As I rid into the sunset, I will expect another challenge along the way. The song "Home" by Bone Thugs featuring Phil Collins is a song for virtually every homesick person, or a person longing to go back to his homeland. I would like to thank everyone who made my world a kibbutz (brotherhood) of sorts. This world is 100 % Filipino and everything in this world is a (mostly) friendly place.

This is quite a short one. But in the end, it is worth it, as Wolverine killed Jean Grey on X-Men 3. If you're going to be married, walking down the aisle are both apprehensive and accomplishing another test of life. If someone goes there to wreck your marriage like taking away a piece of a railroad track. A disaster if I must say.

This is not the end of this post, yet. I could try podcasting but I have no $$$ (money). My seeds for a potential cyberspace invasion are planted. It will grow like a coconut tree, not like weed (the kind of shrubs that threaten grains). Make sure you have a good mark to leave when you go to the other side of life (the afterlife). I'm sure that Daniel Smith and the three other Americans will go free for being victimized by that Zamboangueña whore who acts, cries, moans, and does almost anything whorelike. If the Philippines changes its form of government from Presidential to Parliamentary, it is like buying a booster kit to boost our economic, social, political and national morale and to boost our way to first world country status in 20 years. Looks like my house has some sort of maintenance overhaul after 15 years. I should keep it up, especialy the roof, where the leaks from the roof gutter have sent my room extra wet every time it rains.

The answers to my competency quiz are 1:56 (those who do not answer this are retarded) 2:Ferdinand Magellan (presumably likked at the site of one of those hotels in Mactan Is.) 3:Paris Hilton (Good Luck to your album though. It burns the charts here in the Philippines, I think) 4: Silvio Berlusconi 5: Dead of all that radiation. 6: THE TEST IS IRRELEVANT. HA!
Praise the Lord 131,320,553,406,441 times over! YES! AUGUST NO MORE IS NOW OVER! REAL MEN DON'T DO DRUGS, THEY DRINK BOOOOOOZE!